Sunday, December 20, 2009


Another reason I have stayed away from the internet is a bit depressing for me.  The 15th December was my son Anthony's 15th birthday, and he isn't with us anymore to share in the celebration.

At this time of the year the junk mail and shops are full of toys I know he would have loved but I can't buy presents for him anymore. Its been six and a half long years without him.

 I was going to do a memorial post on the 15th for him but it was a emotional day for this family.  His sister and I fought and his brother has a anguished breakdown like I haven't seen since Anthony died.  So no posting was attempted on that day, but today I feel sad for not doing it as if I let him down (sounds embarrassingly silly to me).

So today I will say something about my dearly missed son.

He was a extremely smart little boy.  I know a lot of parents are bias but I don't think myself brilliantly smart and though I thought my children did ok at school I didn't think Anthony was very smart.  This is mainly because  I couldn't teach him to read.  My other two picked it up before they started school but not Anthony.  The teachers at school couldn't teach him to read either.  I would sit him on my lap with word cards and it was frustrating.  I though he was maybe dyslexic or had some kind of learning disorder.  BUT  the school thought otherwise.  They assessed him with high IQ but his behaviour was out of control.  They diagnosed him as possible Asperger Syndrome and sent us off to Autism Association for confirmation.  I cried and was stressed out that my son was possibly autistic and would have challenges ahead of him.  BUT the Autism Association tested him and the final conclusion was no he did not have Asperger's.

A month after we were told he did not have Asperger's he came home from access weekend with a headache.  A week later he was diagnosed with Medulloblastoma.   I wish he had Asperger's Syndrome instead.  Two years of chemo and radiation.  We almost lived in the hospital.  We would get a week home every now and then.   Five months of daily radiation therapy.  Not all at once but 9 weeks then six weeks then 5 weeks.

A couple of days after brain surgery my dh and I return from lunch to Anthonys hospital room to find him sitting up in bed FLUENTLY READING a Kzone magazine.  He gave me a guilty look and then shrugged his shoulders as if to say:

"Oh well, mum can know I can read now and was just pretending I couldn't, to get some extra quality time together with just her and me, but now I don't need to because she is stuck in this hospital with me. And I am bored sitting here with nothing to do".

He missed a hell of a lot of school.  He might make an hour a day of school after radiation therapy.  You would think he would be behind in class but no!  His teacher spoke to me one day how he was extremely smart and amazed her that he could slip straight back into class work  with so much time off.  Also that she wanted to put him into the top maths group but he would then be the only boy in the group and she wanted him to be happy with his friends.  I said that some of the other boys might catch up and go with him into the other group but she said Anthony blitzed them in Maths. So he was smart, cunning and wise.  (wiser than me I found out later)

The picture above is not a very good scan of an old pic but I like it.  It is one of only a few pictures I have of Anthony before he got sick.  Anthony is the tall one wearing blue army clothes.  His older brother Brandon looks shorter but I think they were the same height.  People would confuse them for twins even though Brandon was nearly two years older.

Again the pic above is not very good but I could not delete it.  They were taken on automatic timer and afterwards Anthony asked to view them.  I gave him the digital camera and he gasped out to me:

"Mum!  The next time you tell someone that I am an Angel and they don't believe you, you now have proof!  See!"

He then showed me the picture and the halo above his head.  This was taken only a week or so before he died and in two years of taking photos of him in hospital we have never got one with a halo over his head before.  It made me cry because I knew he was dying and was scared that my troubled belief with religion and God and not having my children christened would prevent Anthony from getting into heaven.  This picture was like a message for me to not worry, God loves all.  I might not get in but innocent little children will.

My son liked all things Army as you can see from the pics.  In most of them he wears army clothes and most of his favourite clothes I made for him.  Like the blue outfit in one of the pictures above.

Goodnight baby!  Mummy misses you

Saturday, December 19, 2009

Join us and have some fun!

I have not blogged in awhile or even read other people's blogs for a couple of weeks.  Do you want to know why?  TEENAGERS.  My teenager has finished high school for the year and is home on the internet.  With the plan we are on it's great when I am the only one logged on but our speed is shaped when we go over our 5gb limit.  It's so slow with three people using it at one time that I don't enjoy it.  Internode won't let me up-grade to faster speeds and 50gb limit until the Fifth of January either.

But today I gave in and spent au$5.00 for a 2gb data block and started catching up with my favourite blogs.

It's a good thing too because I was reminded about a PIF group (Pay It Forward) I have joined. I am excited about this as it will be my first and it sounds like fun. It's being run by Naomi of Nomes's Brag Along.  If you like getting surprises in the mail pop over to her blog for detailed information.

You might get a softie or something else from me if  you join.

The above sounds like a bribe lol.


Friday, December 4, 2009

Dishsoap Aprons

A staff Xmas party was upon me and I had a few pressie's to get.  I made some little aprons (with soap bottles lol).  Quick and good gifts for work colleagues.  They were a hit with the ladies!  A few other staff members who weren't on my list asked me if I would make them some.  Back to the sewing machine...........

Wednesday, December 2, 2009

Egg cosies

I think egg cosies are cute.  They are also fun to make.  Very easy and quick to sew.  Need a quick fix of sewing in your busy life?  Egg cosies don't use much fabric and mine only took 20 minutes to make.


Tuesday, December 1, 2009

"Oh what fun, it is to sew..."

I love Tone Finnanger patterns!  I have just finished her xmas stocking project from the book Crafting Christmas Gifts.  While looking for a link for people who may be interested, I went to Quilt Fabric Delights but she has sold out of this book.  But while there I ordered the Easter book by Tone Finnanger.  Can't wait for it to get here.  She is super fast with deliveries.  The only hold up is I do not have a credit card. Yes indeed I do not and never have owned a credit card.  People look at me strangely when I tell them that but it must be why I live debt free.  I only pay cash so if I don't have any I don't spend any. I will be getting a debit VISA card one day as paying by money order is getting expensive ($4.50 + stamp + envelope costs). Visa Debit cards use your own money I hear but what are the fees?

xmas stocking from a Tone Finnanger pattern

I made this stocking for a work colleague for no other reason than we started talking about xmas and she mentioned wanting to get a stocking for her very first grandchild.  Well! I jumped right in and offered to make her one.  Also her grandson is gorgeous! Chubby cheeks! I love chubby cheeks!

Most of the fabric came from my stash except the lining.  All cotton type fabrics were used and I used thin fleece for the interfacing (turned out a bit bulky).  I would leave out the interfacing next time and see how it goes.

All the patterns I have come across from this talented lady are very easy to do.  AND the best bit is I haven't come across any errors in the patterns or instructions yet.  It makes me really confident of success when starting her patterns and therefore a good sewing session is guaranteed!  How many people have come across a project in a book or wherever and half way through it just makes no sense?  You are left wondering if something was left out of the instructions and you end up having a disappointing sewing day.

A big thank you to all pattern makers who proof read their books before publishing!